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Wednesday, 25 June 2008
Suggested Readings

These are some of the books that have been important on my journey to healing.  So many have been helpful and this is only a smattering but they may serve as a beginning.  I have divided them into separate sections though some may overlap.  I have also written a short summary and thoughts about them.


Adult Children of Alcoholics

It Could Never Happen to Me,  by Claudia Black.  A ground-breaking book about what it means to grows up in an alcoholic family. Pivotal in my recovery.

The Big Book  by Alcoholics Anonymous.  If you can get your hands on this one, it’s really interesting to see things from the perspective of the alcoholic.  The twelve steps apply to almost anyone.  I used to go to meetings, not because I drank too much, but because I enjoyed the anonymity!  No commitment.  No cult.

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie.  This is a day-by-day book about codependence.  She also wrote Co-Dependent No More,  another great one for ACOAs.

The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner.  A primer on how co-dependent people can get “unstuck” and express their anger in healthy ways. Very readable with many good examples .

The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller.  A classic on being a “parentified” child, which so many ACOAs are.  Any books by Alice Miller are treasures.  She also writes brilliantly about childhood trauma. 

Bipolar Disorder/ Depression

Feeling Good   by David Burns, MD,  a layman’s guide to cognitive therapy, especially effective at treating depression .  Many effective exercises and good support.

An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison, MD.  A memoir of a psychiatrist who has bipolar disorder.  Very honest and moving.    She also wrote Touched with Fire, a book about the relationship between manic-depression and creativity.

Living Without Depression and Manic-Depression by Mary Ellen Copeland, M.S.  This is a workbook designed to help people suffering from mood disorders to maintain mood stability.  She also has another book entitled Living With Depression and Manic-Depression.  Both have good suggestions, but I like the idea of “living without.”


Cults

Recovery from Cults edited by Michael Langone, PhD.  This is a comprehensive guide written by and for survivors of cults, families, therapists and clergy.   It is informative and compassionate, a “must” for both laymen and professionals.

Combating Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan.  Written by a former Scientologist, this book explores the methods employed by cults to lure and retain followers. 

Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism by Robert Jay Lifton.  A ground-breaking classic that explores “brainwashing” during the Chinese Revolution.

My Life in Orange by Tim Guest.  This is a memoir of a young man who grew up on a commune of Guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.  (His mother joined when he was six.)  Funny, wise and heart-breaking.  A good read.

Cults in Our Midst by Margaret Thaler Singer.  An expert on post-traumatic stress disorder and cults, she has counseled over 3,000 current and former cult members and their families and friends. An up-to-date and comprehensive overview of cults and recovery.


 Domestic Violence, Sexual Abuse and Trauma

The Battered Woman by Lenore Walker.  This is the first book I read when I returned to my mother’s house to stay.  Mom was surprised because she said she edited the book herself.  This identifies the stages of abusive relationships and the effects on victims.

Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman.  Another ground-breaking work that, among other things, compares post-traumatic stress among war veterans and battered women and survivors of sexual abuse.

The Courage to Heal by Laura Davis.  A workbook for survivors of sexual abuse.  Very compassionate and helpful.  It helps “normalize” the experience and get past the shame.

Growing Beyond Survival by Elizabeth G. Vermilyea, M.A.  This is a “self-help toolkit for managing traumatic stress.”  Lots of helpful information and cool exercises.

Psychological Trauma and the Adult Survivor by I. Lisa McCann, PhD and Laurie Anne Pearlman, PhD.  This is more of a textbook that examines the theory behind traumatic stress and how to cope with it.   Recommended for the more serious student.

The Kiss by Kathryn Harrison.  This is an amazingly courageous memoir of a young women who had an affair with her father.  She explores the destructive nature of incest.  Brutally honest and painful but essential to my healing. 

Feminism

The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan.  A classic work from the fifties that examines traditional female roles and how modern society colludes to “keep woman in her place.”  This book kicked off the Feminist Revolution. 

Towards a New Psychology of Women by Jean Baker Miller.  This book opened my eyes to the oppression of women which is similar other oppressed classes in society.  This book blew my mind.

Women and Madness by Phyllis Chesler.  This is another feminist classic that explores how women are pathologized when they are “different” from traditional female.  Instead of being recognized for their unique and assertive qualities, women are often labeled as “mad”  in an effort to keep them in their place.


Holocaust Literature

Night by Elie Wiesel.  Though I can’t begin to compare my experience to any Holocaust survivor, Elie Wiesel’s account of trauma and loss is so universal that it actually gave me hope that I could survive. If he could do it, then so could I.

Origins of Totalitarianism by Hannah Arendt.  This book examines how Nazism was possible and how it overtook a whole country. It’s rather ponderous but extremely interesting.   I wish Wierwille could have read this.  It would have taught him a thing or two.  

Escape From Freedom by Erich Fromm.  This book explores the challenges of freedom and how can gravitate towards totalitarianism.  The desire to be “taken care of” is strong in each of us.  This looks at the existential alternative to be an individual and take responsibility for one’s life.

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankel.  This book is written by a psychiatrist who was imprisoned at in a concentration camp during WW II.  He delves into the human condition of despair and emerges with a staggering faith in man’s capacity to find meaning in meaninglessness.  I love this book and read it at least once a year. 

Inspiration

Walking on Water, Reflections on Faith and Art  by Madeline L’Engle.  This book had a profound impact on me.  Not only did it inspire me to write but it helped broaden my view of the Christian life.

Letters to a Young Poet  by Rainer Maria Rilke.  A primer in being both a writer and a seeker.  He has incredible insight on depression and the movement of the spirit.  Any of his poems are also recommended. 

New and Collected Poems by Mary Oliver.  Another very compassionate poet whose  world view has helped me expand my own.

Psychology

On Becoming a Person by Carl Rogers.  This book is teaches unconditional positive regard for the individual, something I desperately needed to learn in order to grow.  Very compassionate and tolerant in his outlook.  The ideal therapist.

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach.  For a long time, I fought my fate and couldn’t accept what had happened to me and the ministry.  The concept of “radical acceptance” has enabled me to embrace my life and its challenges, rather than to fight against them

Identity and Crisis by Erik Erickson.  This book traces the developmental milestones in a person’s life.  This was important to me because of the critical milestones that I missed and needed to revisit in order to mature into an adult.

The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh.  Learning to meditate was an important tool in my recovery.  Mindfulness helps me stay grounded and in focus.  This primer is very readable and helpful.

Religion

When Bad Things Happen to Good People  by Harold S. Kushner.  For a long time, I was mad at God.  I didn’t understand why He let all these things happen to me.  Then I read this book and it changed the whole way I viewed God and the world.  A wonderfully wise book.

The Courage to Be by Paul Tillich.  When I left The Way, I continued to struggle with depression and despair.  For years, I had no faith.  This book restored my faith in God and helped give meaning to suffering.  Exceptionally well-written and understandable.  The book itself continues to give me “courage to be.”

Varieties of Religious Experiences by William James.  This expanded my view of different spiritaul experiences and helped me realize that I wasn’t so “different.”  It’s a classic that’s well worth reading.

Confessions by St. Augustine.  The account of a spiritual journey by one of our most famous saints.  I loved this book because he was so human and honest.  His God is a God of love and forgiveness, Someone I dearly need in my life.

The Autobiography of Malcolm X.  I include this in the religion section because it is a chronicle of a spiritual journey of a remarkable man.  He, too, was in a cult from which he managed to extricate himself but at the cost of his life.  A remarkable book.

The Sermon on The Mount by Emmet Fox.  This book introduced me to the gospels as though they were written for me.  It helped me realize that a relationship with Jesus Christ was again possible after losing my faith in The Way.

The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels.  This is a mind-blowing book for a former fundamentalist who believed that the King James Version was the only standard for faith and practice.  This book shows the evolution of the canon and introduces books that were left out of the Bible, as we know it. 












 

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